Don't Sit too Close to Me
by hesmyfriend
Summary: Steve asks T'Challa to have a talk with Sam and Bucky to help ease the tension between them, but it opens a can of worms Bucky never hoped would open.


"This ends right now," T'Challa said. "Please come into my office."

"You have an office?" Sam asked.

"Of course he does, he's the King of Wakanda," Bucky said. Sam guessed kings probably did have offices these days.

T'Challa said nothing and just led them to his office, which turned out to look exactly like a doctor's office. No, not a doctor's office. A _therapist'_ s office.

"This doesn't look very kingly," Bucky said.

"I'm the King of Wakanda," T'Challa said. "I have several offices and most of them are fancier than this. Have you heard how rich am I? Because I'm actually richer than Tony Stark."

"Quit bragging, Cat Boy," Sam said. He was irked that he was here, especially with Bucky. And he hated not knowing what was going on.

"Please, refer to me as your majesty. Both of you have a seat," T'Challa said. He took a seat in the only chair, leaving Bucky and Sam to sit together on the loveseat.

"Can you move over a bit?" Bucky asked.

Sam moved closer to Bucky, just to piss him off.

"I've gathered you here today…" T'Challa started.

"Wait, that's how weddings start," Bucky said, confused as usual.

"Where is this going, _your majesty_?" Sam asked.

"Steve asked me to do him a favor. Apparently, I'm the only one he thinks has a chance of reasoning with you," T'Challa said. "I've come here to…" He sighed, clearly resigned. "Administer couples counseling."

"Wait, what?" Bucky asked.

"No. Me and Barnes?" Sam asked. "We are _not_ a couple."

"There's two of you. Two people is a couple, is it not?" T'Challa said.

"But we're not together," Sam said.

"Interesting how uncomfortable the word couple makes you, Sam," T'Challa said. He pulled out a clipboard and a pen and started to write notes on it. "Are you uncomfortable with all relationships or just same-sex relationships?"

"What? I'm perfectly fine with relationships! And I'm not a homophobe!" Sam said.

"Interesting," T'Challa said, continuing to write notes. "When was the last relationship you had?"

"Umm…" Sam asked, trying to remember. The room stayed silent for several minutes while he tried to calculate just how long it had been.

"I haven't had a relationship in... at least seventy years," Bucky said.

"Yikes," T'Challa said. "So am I supposed to be setting you up or just making you stop arguing? Steve wasn't really clear on that part."

"I'm not dating Barnes," Sam said.

"Then maybe it would suffice if you stopped being a dick?" T'Challa asked.

"Never," Sam said.

"Okay, why don't we just try to get to the root of why there is so much animosity between the two of you," T'Challa said. "James, why do you think that is?"

"He sits too close to me," Bucky said.

"Really. That's the root of all your problems," T'Challa said in disbelief.

"…I have problems with people getting too close," Bucky said.

"Are we actually going to have therapy right now?" Sam asked. "I doubt he's even a qualified therapist."

"James, would you say you're pushing Sam away?" T'Challa asked.

Bucky nodded.

"And how does that make you feel, Sam? Does it hurt you?"

 _Oh, shit,_ Sam thought. _Are we really going to talk about that?_ "Maybe."

"Bucky what are you afraid would happen if Sam got too close?" T'Challa asked.

"I might hurt him…"

"You know this has been really fun, but I'm not having this conversation," Sam said, storming out.

* * *

T'Challa sighed. He was never doing a favor for Steve again. These two were ridiculous. "Perhaps, you'd like to go after Sam, James."

"What would I say?" Bucky asked.

 _How am I supposed to know? I'm not a therapist and I'm not a couples counsellor._ "Speak from the heart."

Bucky sat there nervously for a moment before leaving the room, presumably to search for Sam.

T'Challa picked up the phone. "Steve, I think I might have made things worse…"

* * *

Sam hadn't gotten very far. Bucky had no idea what he was supposed to say at this point. What did he even want to say? What did he want to happen between him and Sam? It could never work. Not when he could be triggered at any time and be back to being the Winter Soldier.

"Sam, I'm sorry," he said. Although, he wasn't really sure why he was sorry or what was going on.

"Fuck you, Barnes," Sam said. "It's fine."

"What did I do?" Bucky asked.

"It's nothing. It's stupid. It's my fault," Sam said.

"It's not your fault. Just don't sit so close to me," Bucky said.

"Is that really the only thing I do that bugs you?" Sam asked.

"It makes me nervous," Bucky said. Being touched always made him panicky since being tortured by Hydra. But what make him the most anxious was that he sort of wanted Sam to touch him.

"You're a weird kid, Bucky," Sam said.

"I'm ninety-eight years old," Bucky said.

"I really need a drink, you want to come with me?" Sam asked.

Bucky hesitated. How badly could it possibly go? "Okay."


End file.
